The following continues to colour in the model of happiness we're constructing. As it's always easier to perceive the characteristics of something when it's presented in its more pure/extreme form, the unusual mentality of many very happy people is best explained via Taoism. A determined focus on happiness in this life - going directly to the experiences sought - takes one to Taoism even more so than other forms of Buddhism. Also known as Chinese Buddhism, Taoism takes fluidity to the extreme and sometimes that unusual perspective is useful as it helps us generate more flexibility. If we deem the rigid state to be the only state possible we do not consider the alternatives. Effectively, they don't exist for us.

In the same way, if we don't understand we have a model of reality in our brain, and how much we rely on it, we don't respect it, don't feed it what it needs to help us. We then tend to blame 'bad luck'.

We're not 'pushing' Taoism, not deeming it better. No one has to subscribe to the Taoist perspective to benefit from detoxing, or to be very happy. It's just another recipe. However, people focused on 'the art of happiness' for thousands of years are likely to have figured the basics out. There's a good chance they've already done most of the work separating the wheat from the chaff. Probably, given Taoists are hyper pragmatic (as the Chinese tend to be ), they know what they're talking about when it comes to the mechanics of happiness. Of course, happiness is not the be all and end all. We all have to survive, and survival takes priority over happiness. Additionally, we've all got different situations, responsibilities we're juggling etc. Sure, but those variables are not their concern; Taoism is not going to help us get a job, for example. It actually might hinder that ability, or at least diminish our enthusiasm for that materially fruitful path.

Again, having a look at reality through the Taoist perspective might be useful as that perspective comes from a place quite far along the spectrum. Although, counterintuitively, Taoists are not trying to be far along the spectrum, not trying to be anything except very happy. All that matters is that sweet spot, or sweet spots as there's no reason one has to stay in the same place all the time. We have our two eyes offset as the different perspectives give our brains more information -we're able to judge distance, for example. In other words, what is often valuable is not one perspective or the other, but that which both together generate. Different perspectives promote flexibility and when we're rigid in a fluid world we tend to struggle given our inability to adapt and improvise.

The Taoist mentality, though not necessarily the label, has always existed throughout the world. Individuals, here and there, stumble into it without ever hearing about Taoism. Nowadays, we see something of a resurgence, though it tends to be called the 'Sigma personality'. The resurgence stems from the fact that our mainstream paths are increasingly substandard forcing individuals to seek alternative paths. What good is our inherited recipe if it's no longer effective in todays reality? We cannot though consider alternatives if we're still subscribed to the hierarchy of values we've had programmed into us. Taoists/Sigmas play the game differently as they're not seeking status via the normal set of values. Actually, they're not too concerned about status at all therefore their orientation/objectives are different which leads them to select alternative paths.

This page is long and has gone off on tangents. Maybe I'll organise it better one day but very few will wade this far anyway and, for detoxing purposes, it's not so relevant.

The following Taoist parable illustrates the Taoist mindset.

Long ago there was a poor farmer. Poor, but he at least had a horse to help with the work.

One day that horse ran away and his neighbours lamented his bad luck. ' Such misfortune' they cried.

He replied ' Maybe'.

A few days later his horse came back bringing another two horses with it and the neighbours told him how lucky he was.

'Maybe' he said.

His son fell off one the wild horses and broke his leg. 'Oh no', cried the neighbours,' now you have to do so much work all on your own. So unlucky'.

The farmer replied his typical 'Maybe'.

A week later army recruiters swept through the village taking all the young men away to war, likely never to be seen again. However, as the farmers son had a broken leg, they didn't take him. The neighbours told him how lucky he was and he replied with his standard 'Maybe'.

While the parable uses extreme examples for illustration purposes, the point is that we often don't know what is good or bad given we can't see into the future. Plus, there's so many variables involved, only some of which we're able to take into account. We don't - can't - fully understand the ones we're aware of ( even if we believe we do ) let alone those we're unaware of. There's always known knowns, known unknowns and unknown unknowns. We gather our beliefs, such as they are, and decide accordingly. However, we do not know what the actual consequences will be. We're injecting pleasure and pain from what we're imagining they will be.

The farmer understands this and is at ease with whatever happens as, beyond extremes, his happiness is not dependant on this or that happening, or not happening. He's accessing, and/or self generating, a tasty enough cocktail, and that cocktail is resilient. While it seems what we're experiencing is directly related to what we're perceiving, it isn't, or at least isn't to the degree we tend to believe it is. What's happening out there only matters if it matters and we, leaving aside extremes, can decide what matters. We're attaching labels, we're categorising, we're adding meanings, and we're invested, via pleasure and pain, in one outcome or another. That's all happening in us.

If we're already feeling great, what does the average outcome matter one way or the other? For example; $1000 might matter to many people, but not to a billionaire as they already have abundance. It makes no tangible difference to them. Sure, they don't want to get cheated, will feel some ego pain if they believe they are, and thus act to remedy the situation - to dispel that pain - but the money itself doesn't matter.

The farmer knows that, almost regardless, he'll get by ok. He might have to work a bit more, perhaps eat a bit less, but so what? He's not worrying - injecting himself with pain - over what he can't control/ what has already happened. This doesn't mean he never gets upset - he's not a robot - but that he's not fragile, not blown this way and that by random events. It's like getting upset because it's raining. It's not the rains fault - rain happens sometimes. If we're getting upset over reality, the culprit is our expectations, not reality.

If we accept reality, what is there to get upset about? Sure, we have our interests that we try to advance - we have our shopping list of wants and needs we're trying to satisfy - as do others, and it's a competitive world out there. Sure, but the more we can accept reality, go with the flow, as opposed to fighting it, the less ugly flavours we're pouring directly into our cocktail and the more time and energy we have to advance our actual, tangible interests. Additionally, more of what we want - experiencing happiness - comes to us given those delicious flavours are all that is there when we delete the ugly ones.

Taoists seek joy, which requires space to flow into. Joy can only exist in the absence of cravings. Can a drug addict, desperately needing their fix, access joy? Of course not. Thus wanting less is receiving more, and if we're feeling great in reality, then this reality thing is just fine. The sun will burn out one day, we'll die one day, our species will go extinct one day... That would all seem to be the natural way of things. We can lament that reality if we want, but why would we do that? Is the pain caused by reality, or by our miscalibrated expectations?

There's a fiction and a space between

you and reality

write it down, but that doesn't mean

you're not just telling stories.

Tracey Chapman. 'Telling Stories'

Those who access a high level of happiness in reality accept reality. How could it be different? Their model of reality might be significantly different from ours, but they accept it, love it and thus love life. Their recipe works for them and doesn't need changing. It's only when our current recipe isn't generating a satisfactory taste that it needs changing. Only then, only because we have to get from A to B and we're changing our recipe anyway, that we might as well make it more accurate. How accurate our map is doesn't matter if we're staying put, but it does matter if we're relying on it to navigate the environment/reality.

We're going to be doing something and those somethings are steps that take us towards one reality or another. Upstream of those actions/steps are our decisions and then model of reality and then our motivations. Zoomed in further we've got model of reality, secondary/acquired motivations and then our instincts/primary motivations. By no longer feeding our secondary motivations they wither away connecting our decisions directly to our hardwired primary motivations. We're now reorientated towards our own actual interests and can then add in new secondary motivations of our choosing. In the process, in the space generated joy/ connection to that which comes from beyond flows in. After-all, our secondary beliefs are culturally installed. However, we're not born with knowledge, not born understanding causes and effects, that doesn't just magically manifest. Probably, a lot of wildly inaccurate beliefs have accumulated within our model of reality over the years limiting it's ability to do it's job well. A psychological detox helps remove some of the more obviously toxic/ wildly inaccurate beliefs others have installed. Although, as mentioned, an emotional detox naturally leads us to delete some of the beliefs we're holding onto.

We've given each other some hard lessons lately
But we ain't learning
We're the same sad story that's a fact
One step up and two steps back

It's the same thing night on night
Who's wrong, who's right?
Another fight and I slam the door on
Another battle in our dirty little war

When I look at myself I don't see
The life I wanted to be
Somewhere along the line I slipped off track
One step forward and two steps back

That we self generate happiness/joy is the Buddhist view and that we get a significant part of it from our connection to God the view most other religions hold. Additionally, if there is an eternal Heaven, or Hell, awaiting us then happiness in this relatively brief life is not so important. Either way, joy/God, comes from beyond the manmade cultural bubble we happen to be in. We're within a cultural bubble, but all religions point out that it's not the reality, it's not all that is able to be experienced. That we cannot perceive something does not mean we cannot experience it. Those beyond the monastery walls are seeking something they know exists. They're not idiots.

We may be within the walls of a particular bubble, but we're well advised to have a few windows in that wall letting the light in. A door is better, as we can then go back an forth, but if not a door, then at least a window with the curtains drawn. Without at least some Joy/God in us we're in a relatively dark place. Indeed, what is love without joy mixed in? Others can give us love, but they can't give us Joy in the sense that they can't give us the capacity to connect to it. Take it far enough and we can get to where there's no walls at all around us but, in practice, that's rare and would be way too far along the spectrum for most of us.

I found out a long time ago

What a woman can do for your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anywhere

You don't already know how to go.

I get this peaceful, easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

Cause I'm already standing on the ground.

Eagles; Peaceful, easy feeling.

Joy and love are essentially the same thing, the same flavour, but just from different sources. They're both emotionally nourishing and so similar we tend to use the terms interchangeably, at least in the English language. The distinction is that joy comes from beyond the manmade bubble, from beyond those walls that exist in our heads. The bubble has, or at least hopefully has, plenty of cracks in it and our religions prompt us to keep those cracks there, they remind us to let some light in.

The birds they sang
At the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what has passed away
Or what is yet to be

Ah, the wars, they will be fought again
The holy dove, she will be caught again
Bought and sold, and bought again
The dove is never free

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen 'Anthem'.

Of course, groups of people - tribes/societies etc - need their cultural bubble. Need to understand their subjective beliefs and values to be objectively true or those beliefs and values would lack the required motivational power. We don’t say to little 3 year old Pete ‘ doing that is subjectively bad’ or ‘according to our culture that is bad so don’t do it’ as that’s relatively insipid - lacks the required oomp - and complicates things. We say ‘ that is bad’ as indeed it can be considered to be, given the context.

Not surprisingly, as Pete grows up within that little bubble much that is subjective solidifies into a solid structure upon which his status/place in his group is perched. The subjective has morphed into being objectively true in his brain, and he’ll defend those values given his sense of place within his group/status is dependant on maintaining that illusion. Additionally, defending our groups values is also important for the well being of our group, it's not all irrational ego. It's not important whether a particular set of beliefs and values are objectively true or not, what's important is that they're functional. Security, infrastructure etc requires a functional structure and requires individuals to align themselves to it. Which particular set of beliefs and values is the ‘right’ set depends on who is asked. Obviously.

Values are subjective and context dependant. One can go to jail for killing someone in peacetime, but go to jail for not killing people in wartime.

In reality, beliefs and values are subjective and fluid though, as mentioned, groups must pretend they’re not given groups need individuals to be on the same page. Problems can occur when the individual can't zoom out and see themselves in a reality, not the reality. They then can't climb/ melt down those walls in their brain even when that rut is uncomfortable.

For the individual, the pact between them and their group tends to work out just fine if their groups mainstream path is in good shape and fruitful. When it's not, when their civilisation is past it's zenith and in the dying stage of it's lifecycle, that pact becomes somewhat fraudulent. What the glossy brochure claims awaits down the mainstream path isn't actually there anymore. Regardless, the pact is always something of a double edged sword as the individual themselves becomes walled in by those inherited values. Though we tend to run a fine toothed comb through other peoples, and other groups, actions, while running a wide toothed one through our own, we still feel we have to be reasonably consistent with our values. As our values heavily influence our decisions, how can we make significantly different decisions and still maintain our delicious sense of status? We can’t, we don’t, so if we want to feel better we ask for a pill, or self medicate, instead of changing our actions to organically generate a more pleasant experience.

Humility is the gateway to happiness

While our ego locks that gate.

2020

We cannot be humble with a dominant ego. Necessarily, if we’re humble we have a pruned back, defanged ego which is therefore less powerful than our emotional motivations. We’re then orientated towards emotional satisfaction given our emotional motivations are winning the inner tug of war against ego motivations. We then easily accept it’s all subjective given our lack of dependance on ego satisfaction. Pete isn’t inferior, Pete is just Pete and so, not surprisingly, is different than me. He doesn’t have to dance to my beat - I’m not God - anymore than I have to dance to his. No longer feeling the need for applause the bear stops dancing for others and leaves the circus. For those remaining this seems crazy as there’s 'nothing' out there. There's 'nothing' beyond the circus parameters, or at least nothing worth experiencing, as they understand reality to be. There is, there’s infinite paths out there, but without the requisite flexibility, without what has solidified becoming fluid again, without those walls melting down, there doesn’t seem to be.

Many have pointed to the infinite buffet beyond the set menu, but with those walls in the way it's not possible to see what’s being pointed to. What has solidified into walls, what has become hard, needs to become fluid again first.

Hey there mister

Can you tell me what’s happened to the seeds I’ve sown

Can you give me a reason sir,

As to why they’ve never grown?

They’ve just blown around from town to town

Till they’re back out on these fields

Where they fall from my hand

Back into the dirt of this hard land.

Springsteen; This hard land.

Those 'seeds' can only grow if the conditions allow it.

Endless juke joints and Valentino drag

Dancers scrape the tears up off streets dressed down in rags

Running though the dark

Some hurt, some really dying

At night it seems you can hear this whole damn city crying

Blame it on the lies that fooled us

Blame it on the truth that ran us down

You can blame it all on me

Cause none of that matters to me now

Springsteen; Backstreets

There's the cultural bubbles with their beliefs, values and ways of doing things. But that's not all there is and when we connect to that which is beyond we stop caring about what's in that bubble so much. The bubble is there, that collective and their ways, is an option. It offers many delights that can be experienced, but we're not compulsively dancing to that beat as it's not the only beat we can connect to. A dash of this, a splash of that; we can mix and match. There's no 'right' cocktails, there's just ones that taste delicious to us and ones that don't. Mix accordingly.

Taoism is perhaps unique in that it doesn't define inside, or outside, the bubble as better. They're just options, just paths that are available, but which one is 'better' depends on the person. Of course, there's many paths within the bubble itself, and it's possible to 'mix and match'; accessing the 'best' of both worlds. It's this extreme fluidity of Taoism that makes it almost incomprehensible to western brains. Alan Watts understood, Springsteen also somehow stumbled into that mindset early, and no doubt many more have and do, but typically the Taoism that can be understood by binary brains isn't Taoism.

The Tao that can be explained

Is not the Tao.

Our brain reformats the experience to be able to process the information. It's explanation of the pleasure and pain is merely it's feeble understanding of it. My explanation of Pete is not the reality. His wife, daughter, work colleagues, friends, all have a different model/understanding of Pete in their brains and none of those models are the full picture either. Indeed, Petes own brain only has a limited understanding of himself. Taking the post brain reality too seriously, trying to nourish ourselves on that heavily processed fodder, is akin to constantly feeding ourselves at the corner store or Mc Donalds. It's the raw pre-brain feelings that are emotionally relevant whilst our ego lives, and thrives, in that post brain reality. Our turbo charged primate brains are relatively new on the scene and can help us immensely, but the same instincts that have been with our species for millions of years are still there too. If they're not happy, we're not happy.

House got too crowded clothes got too tight
And I don’t know just where I’m going tonight
Out where the sky’s been cleared by a good hard rain
There’s something calling my secret name

I had some victory that was just failure in deceit
Now the joke’s comin’ up through the soles of my feet
I been a long time walking on fortune’s cane
But tonight I’m steppin’ lightly and feelin’ no pain

Well here’s to your good looks, here’s to my health
Here’s to the loaded places that we take ourselves
When it comes to luck you make your own
Tonight I got dirt on my hands but I’m building me a new home

Again, we're taught our particular cultural reality is the reality as that is what is required for groups to be functional. If our group is functional then we’re likely to survive, and thrive, making it a good deal for us as well. That's an option and when the mainstream path is good shape it tends to be a good option. Throughout the vast, vast bulk of our evolutionary journey there was no choice, of course, as we simply couldn't survive outside of the group. Times have changed, but our hardwired motivations haven't.

We've come a long way

things changing day by day

but tell me

Where do the children play?

Cat Stevens. 'Where do the children play'?

Where do the children play? Increasingly, the answer is they don't. Instead, they're deposited ever earlier into the education system and forced to override what they actually want to be doing. If we don't play as children, if we can't access abundant joy then, we tend to struggle to as adults. If we believe life is about hard work, so it will be. Those on the higher levels of happiness have a very different orientation.

I haven't worked a day in my life - thanks.

Go back just a handful of generations and informing people you want to spend your life working would get you an appointment with the witch doctor. Slaves worked.

Ok, of course most of us have to work and, of course, working - gathering life's necessities - is hardwired into us. We have to survive and we have to do so via the options available. Springsteen worked in that he was productive, what he means is he was doing as he wanted to be doing therefore it was not experienced as work. Getting paid for what we'd be doing anyway is the ultimate.

As our ego derives pleasure from status, and status is bestowed on us by others in our group, we’re motivated to align with their values. However, motivations do not exist in a vacuum. Our ego is not our only powerful innate motivation, our emotional motivations are the most powerful, aside from survival motivations. Typically, our survival and ego motivations are aligned, are on the same team pulling in the same direction, given it’s within the group structure that both are satisfied. For example, if we get promoted we’re not only acquiring more status but we’re getting more $$ to spend on food, shelter, security etc. Win - win for those motivations.

As our ego motivations and emotional motivations have nothing to do with each other - they’re seperate entities that derive pleasure and pain differently - they’re often competing against each other for our focus, time and energy.

Happiness is primarily derived from emotional satisfaction but it can be something of a battle taking ourselves to emotionally nourishing fields given we need to survive and typically have our ego teamed up with our survival motivations.

We’re just trying to survive

But what if what we do to survive kills the things we love ?

Fears a powerful thing

It’ll take your God filled soul

And fill it with just devils and dust.

Springsteen; Devils and Dust.

Boiled down, Taoism is orientated towards Joy, which is what flows in when there's space for it to flow in. But, and this is tpyically hard for binary brains to grasp, it's as much the capacity to experience joy that's sought as the joy itself. They're not just seeking joy as that's just one of the yummy flavours available to be enjoyed. Joy can be mixed with pretty much any other flavours and we get to choose what we pour ourselves. Tastes vary. It's the ability to choose that is the goal but, if we have that ability, we'll necessarily have ample joy in there. It's confusing like the chicken and egg riddle - what came first - is confusing.

We gain the capacity to access joy which requires we empty out, make space. Then once joy flows in we get it, we get that less is more. But, at least in Taoism, we're not bound to that joyful state and we've still got to survive etc, got to get our hands dirty. The joyful state is itself just another option but not the only pleasant cocktail there is. Taoists of yore might wander up a mountain and enter a monasatry for some days, weeks or whatever. Maybe spend some time on their own but Taoist gatherings were not sombre affairs. They were fun, joyful, perhaps they went down into town for a few days and got drunk - whatever. They're not trying to be saints, they're just enjoying this life thing they're currently experiencing. They could bounce around; go here, go there, do this, do that. They weren't limiting themselves to some kind of 'right' set menu, instead they choose directly from the buffet. Access to that buffet was what they sought but from there each chooses as they choose. In practice, we can't access that buffet without emptying out the existing stale flavours and hierarchy of values we've had installed so, in practice, we're going to experience significant joy and appreciate that flavour. Of course we appreciate a delicious flavour that comes to us, that is just there. Again though, we'll likely want to add some other flavours in, probably have to add others in if we've got to work etc.

I'm getting myself a bit tangled up. Let's explain this last bit differently;

It’s perhaps easier to understand like this; when we can access the pleasant feelings that come to us - joy/God - we no longer need the pleasant feelings available out there in the environment as much. They’re still pleasant, still worth some effort, but whether we get this, or that, doesn’t really matter as it makes little tangible difference. If we’re feeling just 5/10 then the option that promises experiences of 7/10 is very attractive and we’re disappointed if our expectations are not fulfilled. However, if we’re already feeling 7, or 8/10, albeit from a different mix of flavours, what does it really matter?

We’ve still got a very pleasant cocktail regardless and even if we don’t have a pleasant one at that time we know how to generate one. It’s always there, always something we can return to, even if it’s not in our cup there and then. This life thing becomes something of a game and we enjoy the game because we can’t really lose. If you make your own rules, how can you possibly lose? Sure, shit happens; we might be on a plane that crashes, for example, and there’s nothing we can do about that. Such extremes aside, no one can stop us accessing joy, no one can stop us feeling great and enjoying this life thing. Buddha, with ‘nothing’, had everything so how, extremes aside, could that be taken away from him aside from death? As he didn’t fear death that was ‘ho hum’ as well.

Take ourselves, and our little lives too, seriously and we squeeze the joy out of life.

There's a distinction between life on the other side of the monestary wall, where food and shelter is provided and the 'real' world on this side. Many get confused because they're not making that distinction when trying to understand various writings/beliefs/recipes. We can't spend our time dancing through the daisies, or walking sedately through them, if we need to obtain food and shelter. If we're 'blissed out', moving at a snails pace, we're unlikely to be able to hunt and gather our requirements or, in modern times, get a job. Many of the motivations we could delete we simply can't afford to in the real world so we keep them as they're useful given the context we exist within. Some who can do empty out to an extreme degree and live their lives in that state if they're given food and shelter. However, even if they could, and in the past they almost certainly did have that option, most Taoists would not choose that, at least not permanently as there's so many delights this side of those walls they want to sample/enjoy as well. The common theme through Taoism is accessing joy and having the capacity to mix and match but beyond that it's all just flavours they get to mix as they want.

Every unsuccessful person I know believes the game is rigged.

Every successful person knows the game is rigged and learns how to play.

It's cliché as hell, but your mindset is everything.

Justin Welsh

That's just a random tweet that appeared, I have no idea who that guy is, but he's explained something very well. In some ways believing things are done in reality the way we're taught they're done in school is like still believing in Santa Claus. Perhaps in isolated sanitised pockets the societys proclaimed values are strictly upheld but these days those values exist in theory more than they do in practice. When they're no longer realistic they become something of a matadors cape in the sense it's waved in front of us but it's not actually in our interests to charge it.

Some only see the matadors cape. It’s reality to them, or at least all that matters, and they enthusiastically charge it.

Some see not only the matadors cape what’s waiting behind and lament. According to the values installed in them reality shouldn’t be like it is and they don’t want to play until it’s as they believe it should be. They shake their fist at reality, filling themselves with anger and frustration.

Some accept reality is as it, that they don’t have the power to change it and if they did they’d simply be changing it to their tastes/ values. Reality is what it is and their choices are either live their life happy and cheerful ,or be sad and miserable, or somewhere in-between on that spectrum. There’s a huge range of experiences/flavours available and we learn to make our way to the delicious ones. What does it matter that between the oasis’s there’s desert? There always has been, probably always will be and when it changes it’ll change back to all desert again. The universe doesn’t revolve around our galaxy, nor our solar system, nor our planet, nor our species, let alone lil ol us. Might feel pleasurable to believe it does, but we’re then sprinting towards the consolation prizes.

Humble is another word for realistic. Become realistic and we become humble which leads to flexibility and being orientated towards happiness.

Clearly, if someone is struggling to survive, if they’re still stuck in survival mode, that is their focus. Our happiness, or lack of, is kind of irrelevant if we’re dead. The modern tragedy is that many in the midst of abundance still, like demented squirrels, keep spending their time collecting yet more nuts from the environment instead of re-orientating towards happiness. They’re beyond rational survival concerns yet still stuck in survival mode.

My outlook on money has always borrowed from Buddhism. Desire is suffering. The less you want, the better off you feel. If you can take a walk in the sun, and really enjoy it, what does that cost?

Don’t get me wrong. Make as much money as you can. I sure try to. But don’t blow up friends or family over it. I know more than a few people living in massive homes … empty houses, no sounds of little feet, no kids rushing to them. They thought they “hacked” the system. Misery.

I grew up poor, didn’t even have the life experience to imagine where I would be. Obviously it’s good to work hard and do well, but secular materialism is simultaneously a black hole (someone always has “more”) and a ceiling (“more” doesn’t feel any different). Love is the way.

They studied Homer. They wrote poetry. They kept diaries. They wrote letters to their wives and sons. The average Civil War soldier composed better prose than the educated do today. They were sentimental and emotional. They had vitality and were ALIVE.

I had to rediscover this vitality later in life. It's taken out of you. We are made soulless in public school and then secular society. It's all money. "Success." Striver class status signaling. I am EMOTIONAL and SENTIMENTAL. Feels great.

Cernovich

Also taken from twitter/x.

Of course, if they’re happy enough with that life, and many are, then that’s fine. We’re all different.However, some are not particularly happy and want to increase their level of happiness, but struggle to given their existing equilibrium of motivations maintains that orientation. They tend to understand their existing motivational balance of power as being something permanent, something solid, as being them. Given they’ve never not being ‘them’ this understanding makes sense as it seems to be the case. But it’s not the case, and if they take the time to significantly change the equilibrium within their ‘basket of motivations’ they will find that it’s not. Once what has solidified becomes fluid again the rut no longer exists and it seems bizarre it ever did.

‘When nobody wakes you up in the morning and nobody waits for you at night and you can do whatever you want, what do you call it? Freedom or loneliness?

Bukowski

Both love and joy are emotionally nourishing. Obviously, on the other side of the monestry walls they're seeking joy, not love. There's a spectrum that continues to the pole where Buddha was. What I'm labelling 'joy' could be understood as love from God. That could be but is way above my ability to discern so I stick with what is within my limits. Regardless how our brains understand it, the point here is that while some are able to thrive on joy alone, the vast majority of us can't. Most of us thrive on a mixture of both. Necessarily, love requires compromises while those at the extreme accessing pure joy don't have to compromise at all. It's just them and the universe with no cultural stuff in-between. They're outside the cultural bubble. Might sound attractive in theory but, for most, that's way too far along the spectrum for them. Might be worth a visit to experience, but that's beyond their personal sweet spot. The oneness with the universe is the ultimate freedom but most wouldn't escape loneliness way out there, thus they're still wanting/craving. They've gone too far.

You know I always liked my walking shoes
But you can get a little too fond of the blues
You walk too far, you walk away
Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

You know I always loved a lonely town
Those empty streets, no one around
You fall in love with lonely, you end up that way
Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

You know I always liked that empty road
No place to be and miles to go
But miles to go is miles away
Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

Springsteen; Hello Sunshine

It’s not to get to the sweet spot, there’s no such thing, it’s to get to our sweet spot keeping in mind that’s going to be a different place at age 20 than at age 50. Also factoring in we’ve got other motivations to juggle aside from just our level of happiness. Of course we have other motivations, and the less of them we have the less we need to compromise but, beyond the rare exceptions, we, in practice, are looking to get close enough to our ideal sweet spot. Such is the game of life as understood from the Taoist perspective.

It doesn’t really matter - we all die soon enough regardless - and when it doesn’t really matter we lighten up and when we lighten up we’re half way there. However, as we’re going to be doing something, we’re going to be taking steps along one path, or another, we might as well wander down a fruitful path. We might as well make the initial effort to get onto that path but, once there, it’s largely effortless.

That people don’t ‘get’ this is largely because they take their overflowing basket of motivations, and their ungrounded tangled model of reality, as being solid permanent fixtures. They’ve never been to the other side therefore, naturally, don’t know it exists.

But again, it’s not that ‘the other side’ is better, it’s not for most people, it’s that by experiencing it we know it’s there, know it’s an option and the spectrum itself is revealed. It’s the resulting fluidity that is transformational. The ability to mix and match.

It takes a leap of faith to get things going

It takes a leap of faith

You gotta show some guts

It takes a leap of faith to get things going

In your heart, you must trust.

Springsteen; Leap of Faith