Us Homo Sapiens - wise Apes - are social primates although, somewhat ironically, dominant egos do not like the sound of that. Our species went from living in small, largely extended family, groups of 12 -20 to living within super tribes of many millions in less than 100k years. To do this we had to develop capacities we previously lacked. Small groups didn’t need much social sophistication, didn't even need language to survive and reproduce. Their family - emotional motivations - bonds and the fact that outside of that group individuals simply couldn’t survive in that brutal, dangerous world back then was enough to keep them together working as a team. To become the uber social primates we now are we needed to grow/evolve the capacity, and the motivations, to do so. We had to become more intelligent, not for its own sake but because we needed to be able to communicate - needed language - along with the ability to satisfy our existing motivations in more sophisticated ways.

We needed the group to survive, that hadn’t changed, but we suddenly needed ever bigger groups to survive thus the capacity to establish, and maintain, such groups was selected for.

Somewhere, somehow, around 100, or 150k, years ago one of the many little extended family groups broke through the ‘glass ceiling’ and got bigger. Instead of being limited to 20 members they now had 40 members and this development, for better or worse, changed ‘everything’.

Life suddenly became even more precarious for their neighbouring groups with the main danger no longer being wild animals but other groups of humans, specifically larger groups.

Four warriors defeat two, ten defeat four, and twenty defeat ten. Waves of ever larger groups swept the landscape displacing smaller groups. Where once lived small groups with limited social capacity there were now bigger groups with improved social capacity. Then, some generations on, another wave of even bigger groups swept through and those upgraded social capacities became the norm.

Language, intelligence improved, the ability to think rapidly improved once we were able to think in words and concepts. Increased numbers allowed for specialisation, our tools rapidly improved and we quickly dominated the environment. Small, extended family groups to small tribes, to big tribes to the super tribes we have today in a remarkably short time span. Today too, the bigger tribes dominate - the super powers - and the smaller tribes tend to allay themselves with one of the big boys for protection.

We clearly grew/evolved social capacities we’d previously lacked and those capacities required increased intelligence, language and thinking abilities which, as a byproduct, led to our species dominating and eventually producing sophisticated tools such as cars, laptops etc.

We grew an intellectual brain or, more likely, the rudimentary one we had rapidly grew via natural selection; those that had the capacity to live in bigger groups did so and it was them that survived and reproduced those capacities.

While we needed the capacity, we also needed the motivation to sustain ever larger groups. We might be able to run 100 metres in 12 seconds, or so, but we’re not going to do so unless we’re motivated to do so and this is where the above starts to get relevant as regards happiness.

As the Maslow hierarchy of needs/motivations illustrates, we have emotional motivations/instincts and our ego motivations competing for satisfaction once we get beyond survival mode. Our ego motivation is what aligns us with our group given it seeks status/ approval which we can only get via others. If I want your approval/ respect I can only obtain it via your beliefs and values thus, to satisfy my ego, I’m incentivised to align with you. As, at least in the past, we were part of the same group we’re all ‘on the same page’ anyway, more or less.

All social animals, including ourselves, structure the collective via hierarchies. We have our …

A group is not functional, not actually a group, unless everyone buys into the ways of the group providing cohesion and the ability to leverage their collective power. Infrastructure, markets, security etc can only be provided when the collective is aligned and all flowing in the same direction, more or less and those that seriously contravene the groups ways and norms are punished. We get to share the benefits the collective provides and rewarded with status by complying and ‘looked down upon’, denied our share, and perhaps even otherwise punished if we don’t.

Fair enough, and historically it was in the individuals interests to be aligned with the group given survival outside of it wasn’t feasible. Life got very unpleasant, and probably ended abruptly, if our group was defeated by another group so group allegiance was selected for. Cultures are obviously subjective - each group has their own culture and definitions of good and bad but we’re strongly motivated to believe our particular set of beliefs and values are the right set. It’s irrational, but we’re wired up to survive; it’s much better to be irrational and alive than rational and dead or enslaved.

In practice then, our ego obtains the status it’s nourished on from climbing the hierarchy that’s put in front of it. Given, at least in the past, that’s the only hierarchy we’ve known it’s understandable it’s the hierarchy to us. However, even when we’re well aware there’s many different sets of beliefs and values we’re highly incentivised to perceive our particular one as the right one given our status depends on that belief. Accept it’s all subjective and our status is also just subjective which doesn’t amuse our ego at all.

Again, this irrationality is a feature, not a bug from an evolutionary/survival perspective and only becomes a bug if the set of beliefs and values - our recipe - isn’t providing a satisfactory taste. To change the taste we obviously need to change our recipe - keep doing the same things and we’ll get the same outcomes - but our status/ goodness depends upon our existing beliefs and values so how can we significantly change them and maintain our status? We can’t and this is the classic ego resistance to change that haunts therapy rooms all day everyday.

Dr Shedler explains it well;